How Game Day Hasn't Changed

I used to be a Game Day pro during college days. Eyeliner, champagne, big hats, Sunday best, tailgating at your favorite frat with your favorite guy and all your friends. Country music blaring over rap music blaring over Widespread Panic. The smell of hotdogs grilling and whiskey being poured into floppy flasks. Smuggling floppy flasks through stadium security in your garter belt. Those were the days.

I miss college. I didn't realize how much I would miss it at the time. The first few years of college are so fun, but toward the end you're kind of over it and ready to start the next phase of life. Fast-forward ten years later, and you're settled down with a loving husband and two little tots, and your life is everything you hoped and exactly how you dreamed it would be. You're blissfully happy. But you think back and realize how much life has changed. And you wish--not to go back, per se--but that you had really and truly appreciated the self-indulgent lack-of-responsibility that only comes once at that tiny blip in your life.

I thought of all this on the eve of College Game Day Kickoff 2015 (aka Friday). I was laughing to myself thinking about how different things were from this time ten years ago. I'm the same person, with the same handsome man, and the same football team. But now we are married with two little kids, and instead of watching the game in the stands, we would be watching the game online on our iPad Mini. Direct TV can't get here until Tuesday, curses. And we are potty training. Seriously, so much has changed.And then Game Day came and went. And I realized that while, yes, there are a lot of differences between life then and now, there are some things that make Game Day with two toddlers almost exactly the same as it was in college. 

Exhibit A

GAME DAY WITH TWO TODDLERS

• I am awakened at 6am--in what appears to be a ramshackle frat house--on the floor by a guy trying to wrestle me.
• I remember that it's Saturday and that we have a football game, so I am excited anyway, despite how early it is and how rudely I was awakened.
• I eat a breakfast that is way too fattening for me while watching College Gameday on ESPN.

• I spend most of the morning dealing with other peoples' excrements and moaning. At least I am in the company of a handsome man.
• I lie down and semi-consciously keep tabs on everybody else who is bustling about, hollering, and taking swigs from bottles.

• I fight with a girl about wearing underpants.
• I crack a beer before noon.

• The handsome man and I try our damndest to watch the football game, but are constantly distracted by other people getting all up into our personal space. Arms and legs everywhere. It's hot. I just got a roundhouse kick to the face.  Do these other people have no self control?

• Damn, these people around us are loud. It's loud watching this game. So loud that I can hardly tell what is happening on the field.
• I make 35 trips to the bathroom just in the first quarter.
• There's a dude who is angry because we have to watch football.

• Even though the team is playing great, there's that one girl who has to start crying for no. damn. reason. She kind of kills the vibe for a little while, until I can talk her down.
• Crying Girl passes out in the second quarter.

• Angry Dude eats a lot of pizza and then leaves to pursue other interests. One of those interests includes peeing on himself and then slurring his words before passing out, as well.
• The handsome man and I finally watch the game alone, but by the time we are able to enjoy it, it's half time.
• We make out at half time.
• Game resumes. I sip a beer and enjoy.
• Crying Girl and Angry Dude awake due to all the hollering. And then, of course, there is a weather delay. We distract them with more beverages and pretzels.

• In the meantime, I begin to try to clean up some of the trash that all the people around me have thrown everywhere. Why do people litter? It's so rude. Do people not realize that somebody has to clean all this? That's what trash cans are for.
• After waiting a while and dealing with ornery fans, the game has been called early due to weather. Dawgs win! 

• I facilitate dinner preparations because I know my crew is getting hungry. But nobody wants the same thing. So nobody eats the same thing. 
• I look around and want to cry because it appears that I am right back in a frat house. Rude people.

• I give up caring and pass out in bed with the handsome man.